Professor Buttonwood's Pokémon 101
by Pokemon Professor
Summary: The good Professor Buttonwood is here to answer all the questions about Pokémon in a scientific context. Forget all the myths you've read, this is a new outlook on the bright and colorful creatures we know and love.
1. Introduction

Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokémon! I am Buttonwood, the Pokémon Professor! What, you thought there was one Professor per region? No, Oak isn't the only smart guy in Kanto. He may take all the credit, but it was ME who came up with the Pokédex, damn it! Not him!

Oh, sorry about that. Bit of a sore spot there. Anyways, the economy's rough, it's hard to find work, and I have to feed my Persian. So I decided to take this teaching job. The problem with this generation is that they have their heads clouded up with superstitions and misconceptions. There are still fools who reject natural evolution and believe that Arceus "intelligently evolves" Pokémon! I mean, we're not ten years old anymore! Some of the latest guys I met were thirteen, maybe even fifteen! Let me tell you right now, the Alpha Pokémon is dead. All of the other supposed "Legendaries" can be explained with simple biology. They're just like the "animals" from ancient times. You've heard of animals, right? Like caterpillars?

...

No, not Caterpies, caterpillars. They're like Caterpies and Weedles, but a lot smaller. Where was I? Oh, yes, they are just like animals. All of their unusual attributes can be studied and explained. So, my dear pupils, it's my duty as your teacher to clear up the misinformation you were taught. So, ask me anything about this wonderful world of ours and I will give my answer. Farewell.

_~ Prof. Buttonwood _


	2. Lesson I: Magnemite & Reproduction

**Lesson I: Magnemite & Reproduction, or Hot Magnemite-on-Magnemite-Doesn't-Work Action  
**

Magnemite, Magneton, and Magnezone. These three Pokémon are among many that lack gender. Despite that, they possess the ability to reproduce with Ditto. This is odd, considering they cannot breed even with each other. That is part of the reasoning behind my personal Ditto breeding theory, but that is another lesson.

Now, as you must know, when a Magnemite 'evolves', it simply fuses with two other Magnemite into a new form. We call it Magneton, though it doesn't weigh a ton. In fact, it only weighs 60 kilograms. So I guess it should be known as MagneSIXTYKILOGRAMS! Ha! Ha! Ha! ... I need some friends...

Anyways, if a Magneton is simply three fused Magnemites, and they don't breed naturally, then there's one question: How do they reproduce? Every evolution would reduce the entire population by two, meaning constant population decline! Well, to answer this question, we must ask: What is a Magnemite?

One unique feature to Magnemite's evolutionary family is their robotic appearance. You'll notice visible screws. Well, we already know man made Pokémon exist. Porygon, Mewtwo, there are a lot. Why, the two I just mentioned are both genderless as well. But Magnemite in particular is obvious. The others are seamless; you wouldn't know they were man made unless you were told. Magnemite is rather sloppy by comparison. It's very mechanical, blatantly artificial. This leads to a possibility. Magnemite... just might be an earlier attempt at man made Pokémon. If this was the case, then the obvious answer is that they continue to be manufactured and created by man. However, no such location has been found so we can discount that.

We know that not every Magnemite evolves into a Magneton. If they did, there wouldn't be any Magnemites left. At the Kanto Power Plant, you are twice as likely to encounter a Magnemite than a Magneton. Magnemite are also notoriously shy. At the very most, only one-third of Magnemites ever evolve, probably less. Assuming Magnemites are indeed made of metal, it's plausible that they don't naturally 'die'. The worst that could happen to a Magnemite would be for it to lose its electrical charge, making it unable to use electromagnetism for its levitation. Magnemite therefore only reside in and around places full of electricity, such as power plants.

However, if a _Magneton_ were to lose its electromagnetism, it would fall apart. There would be three new Magnemite. Think of it this way: a Magneton is not a separate Pokémon, it is just a group of three Magnemite. The individual Magnemite may be able to find a new power source, surviving. In a way, this can be considered reproduction. It forms a cycle as well: 3 Magnemite-Magneton-3 Magnemite-Magneton and so on.

The only remaining question is about Magnezone. Where does that come into the equation? Actually, Magnezone does not evolve naturally. Wild Magnezone simply do not exist, outside of the P2 Laboratory (perhaps as a result of Team Plasma's meddling). No Magnemite or Magneton are found in either Mt. Coronet or Chargestone Cave, meaning that the mutation it causes to them is completely coincidental and disrupts the cycle I've explained above.

**Conclusion/TL;DR**

Magnemite and Magneton are most likely artificial, immortal constructions. As such, they do not have a need to reproduce. However, Magneton may be able to split up into three Magnemite if the magnetic force holding them together goes away.


	3. Lesson II: What is With Alomomola?

**Lesson II: What the **** is with Alomomola?  
**

The Caring Pokémon, Alomomola, is found only in Unova. Now, Unova isn't my particular area of expertise (for example, I have no idea what's going on with those sports visors nowadays), but this particular Pokémon raises an interesting question: How is it possible that _ this _pink, heart-shaped Water-type Pokémon completely unrelated to the other pink, heart-shaped Water-type Pokémon, Luvdisc?

A little information on Luvdisc: Luvdisc are native to Hoenn, but they can rarely be found in nearly every region. They are pink in a perfect, thin heart shape. It is said that a couple finding this Pokémon will be blessed with eternal love, but that is considered a myth. Couples in Johto give Luvdiscs to each other as a sign of love.

Conversely, Alomomola are almost twice as tall and over three times heavier as any Luvdisc. Alomomola, unlike Luvdisc, possess dorsal fins and ventral fins. Its eyes have golden irises and a mark that appears to be an eyelash. They are a lighter shade of pink and have different markings.

There is no evidence to suggest that Luvdisc and Alomomola share a common ancestor any more recent than, say, Alomomola and Basculin. But how, then, did they develop such similar body shapes and pigmentation? Two words: convergent evolution.

Now, I don't mean evolution in the "Bulbasaur to Ivysaur" sense, I mean the long-scale evolution, natural selection, that sort of thing. Convergent evolution is when two merely distantly related creatures evolve to fulfill the same niche. For example, Basculin and Remoraid, or Magikarp and Feebas. They appear similar, but they are not related.

**Conclusion**

While Alomomola and Luvdisc appear to be related, they both evolved to fulfill the same niches. They are not more related than they are with any other Water-type Pokémon.


End file.
